West Nile Virus is for Pussies
By Jeffton Bopeton III
If you're anything like me, then you're so sick of hearing about
West Nile Virus that you're considering injecting it into your own
veins. Newspapers, the radio, and TV are all trying to drum up a frenzy
of fear. It's good for ratings and all that.
But you're all being a bunch of pussies. First of all, only 29%
of all West Nile Virus cases are considered "serious" by the Centers for
Disease Control (CDC). This means that even if you get the damned thing,
you're probably not even going to get more than a fever and a bad upset
stomach. Boo hoo, you wimps.
Of all West Nile cases in 2003, less than 3% of them resulted in
death. This means that you are pansies for even worrying about it. More
people than that die from the flu!
Finally, in 2003 there were about 5800 deaths from cars colliding
with pedestrians. Also in 2003, there were 264 deaths from West Nile
Virus. This means that if you're worried about West Nile, you are 22
TIMES more likely to die just by walking on the sidewalk!
So to all the parents who don't let their kids play outside for
fear of West Nile, to the media who keep trying to pretend it's scary,
and to the governments spraying everything with poison to kill
mosquitoes: fuck you. None of you are helping anything.
Back to Main